30 Aug 2013

SRK takes up Lord Krishna's role

With Janmashtami day's lively daze, aamchi Mumbai tuned into festival mode with head-banging music. I wondered Lord Krishna preferred  which of the two songs more? A remix from Aashiqui 2 or Lungi Dance from Chennai Express. There was flash– a van decorated in silver foil. There was excitement– a man tore his T-shirt when a particular mandal broke a matki. There was inquisitiveness a lady, while having her mouth open, saw if the little guy on the pyramid would make a hit... a mosquito conveniently made a hit into her mouth.

The scene after crossing the only time-saving bridge in the city got even more flashier. The crowd at Worli was a replica of the one we witnessed when we earned the 2011 World Cup. What was happening? It seemed that Lord Krishna was supposed to visit Worli for his birthday. Maybe He posted it on Twitter. But there really wasn’t any Twitter update from Him. After all, He must have decided to spend time with his childhood friends as He keeps so busy with us on the rest of the days. He can’t bear to listen to us even on his birthday! So what were lakhs of people doing in Worli?

One dear MLA had organised a Dahi Handi... (I really don't know whose money was put into it). Okay and...? And SRK was scheduled to come after a line up of several other celebrities. Now there had to be  a wait, an anticipation, an anxiety, some goosebumps until the gem arrived. It was fascinating to see the love of humans for another human (who is charming and enterprising). It is also fascinating to see the 'SRK jealous-mongers’ criticise! Please do, scream out your lungs, exhaust the oxygen within you because it will just add to his fan followers' base. One can’t have lovers until they have haters. 

So coming back to the love of humans for another charming and enterprising human.
 After learning that SRK was coming for the Dahi Handi, Madhuben had travelled from Gujarat. Her supportive husband immediately arranged for Madhuben’s travel and here she was in Mumbai, decked up with new glazed bangles. Rizwan, Asif, Farzan and Shoaib Aziz, the four siblings wore coloured lungis while Saurabh gleamed amidst the lakhs of people. Saurabh, an aspiring filmmaker was pushed by the crowd with varying intensities at varying points of time while he waited only ‘to see’ SRK. Kakaji had carried his medicine, and popped it in while slyly giving one of his calm smiles to Kakiji. Kakiji scored high on shyness. Both had lost a few of their teeth capable of breaking African walnuts. But Kakiji had bought dentures. She couldn’t let SRK see her teehtless. Stock broker Mukundbhai blurted on his phone ‘Kal phone karna. Abhi mujhe Shahrukh ko dekhne do.’ Did I really hear a stockbroker delaying his phone conversation? He really didn’t care about the delicate points on the Sensex or the Nifty for those few 'SRK-glancing' moments!

I witnessed India in Worli; different castes, creeds, religions and languages wove into one location for one purpose. All had a common place to visit that Thursday evening. A common desire ran through every blood – to see SRK. A common wait pumped in every heart.
Ruhi Kaur and Inderjeet Kaur were heard telling their putar Junior Inder (as they usually address him) that if he works hard and honestly, someday all these people will await to see Junior Inder. Junior Inder, seated on Senior Inder’s shoulders, screamed with joy. 

The cameras went over heads. 
The flashes triggered. 
A common joyful uproar was launched. 
The common tears of joy were left to unveil.  
The day had begun.
He had arrived.



17 Aug 2013

EXPERIMENTAL SCREENPLAYS: ‘How a small action creates a change in the universe’

To,
Human

After a human asked me something regarding one of my earlier posts ‘How a small action (a hug by Shah Rukh Khan & Salman Khan – to be precise) creates a change in the universe’, and after I witnessed some real life incidents at different timings, I decided to conduct a written experiment with 2 screenplays.
Who asked me?
Just a human with nerves, blood and arteries.
Asked what?
So the smallest of actions creates a change in the universe, eh? (followed by laughter which sounded like snorting)
I decided to experimentally stalk how the smallest of actions can create bigger twists and turns.  

APPARATUS:

My Mind

My creativity

Observing a few real life incidences at different timings on one quiet, partially-rainy morning

I couldn’t really get SRK or Salman Khan to participate because if I would have got them, it wouldn’t be a quiet morning anymore.



EXPERIMENT:

 SCREENPLAY #1
FADE IN:

INT. STREET/ SOUTH MUMBAI  – DAY

Abundant greenery is evident on this street which is lined by buildings on both of its sides. The street is empty with two cars parked on one side. The street is wet, and few droplets drip from the trees. The screech of a truck passing by is heard. A hamster is pecking into the ground. The MELODIOUS shankh being blown is heard. The innocent LAUGH of a child from a near distance.... the hamster stops pecking. Running legs of a child... wearing scuba diving shoes with a button that lights with every quick step the leg takes. We notice a hint of an oxygen cylinder-shaped sling bag that is swaying as the legs run. The hamster rapidly crosses the street... hides into the trees. The MELODIOUS sound of the shankh. Running legs of an adult wearing black converse shoes. We notice a hint of rugged grey track pants. The legs fade into a distance.
A suit clad MAN, talking on his phone is taking fast paced steps towards the car...

MAN
(laughs)
Bingo. Didn’t expect Valkesh to sign it this soon?

Man gets into car.
MAN (CONT’D)
Whatever, the ball is in our court. Yes, yes. Ask Khushboo to remove the contract papers.

MAN (CONT’D)
(starts the car)
On my way!

He hangs up. A FRAIL LOOKING MAN, wearing rugged clothes comes upto him. Man rolls down his window.

FRAIL MAN
(smiles)
Gadi saaf hai na (The car is clean right)

MAN
(smiles back, searching in car)
Kaka, sorry.... lagta hai bhatuwa ghar pe bhool aya. (Sorry uncle, I guess I left my wallet at home.)

FRAIL MAN
Kya saab...  Apki gadi ko extra force se dhota hoon. (Sir... I put in extra efforts/ force to wash your car.)

MAN
(laughs)
Are, gharpe jhakar pasie lelo na. (Go to my home and take the money)

FRAIL MAN
Abh wapis peeche jaana padega. (Now I’ll have to again walk back)

Frail man begins walking back. The car drives away in the opposite direction.

FRAIL MAN
(murmuring)
Aj phirse woh khadoos parsi bolega ‘derse aveeche, ghadera’ (imitating). (Today the irritating parsi will again tell me ‘You’re late, you donkey’)

Frail man trips over something.

FRAIL MAN
Kya kachra... kachra sab jagah. (What now... there’s garbage everywhere)

He picks up a thin brown wallet. He opens it and sees a lot of cash and cards in it.
Legs of an adult wearing black converse shoes come in from a distance. We notice a hint of rugged grey track pants. The feet with the scuba diving shoes follow. The frail man is staring at the money. A lady pulls his collar from behind (she is the one wearing the converse shoes and tracks).

LADY
(hitting the frail man)
Robber. How swiftly you people flick things?

FRAIL MAN
Are, memsaab... (Madam..)

LADY
What are? Haan... what are?

FRAIL MAN
                                                     Woh...that... paise... no give

LADY
                                                                    No give?           

LADY (CONT’D)
So if somebody doesn’t give you money, you flick haan?
I’ll hand you over to the cops. Come with me, COME (dragging him)

FRAIL MAN
Baapre Bhagwan...aurat... (Oh my God, lady)

LADY
(turns to look at kid – she is wearing a scuba diving suit)
What are you waiting there for?

The kid runs towards her mom.

KID
Mummy, leave him. I’ll be late for the fancy dress competition.

LADY
Sapna, these people need to be taught a lesson. I’m hanging him over to the cops.

The three of them fade into a distance, as the hamster crosses the street.








 SCREENPLAY #2
FADE IN:

INT. STREET/ SOUTH MUMBAI  – DAY

Abundant greenery is evident on this street which is lined by buildings on both of its sides. The street is empty with two cars parked on one side. The street is wet, and few droplets drip from the trees. The screech of a truck passing by is heard. A hamster is pecking into the ground. The MELODIOUS shankh being blown is heard. The innocent LAUGH of a child from a near distance.... the hamster stops pecking. Running legs of a child... wearing scuba diving shoes with a button that lights with every quick step the leg takes. We notice a hint of an oxygen cylinder-shaped sling bag that is swaying as the legs run. The hamster rapidly crosses the street... hides into the trees. The MELODIOUS sound of the shankh. Running legs of an adult wearing black converse shoes. We notice a hint of rugged grey track pants. The legs fade into a distance.
A suit clad MAN, talking on his phone is taking fast paced steps towards the car...

MAN
(agitated)
Why is Valkesh creating such a fuss and not signing it?

He gets into his car. He hangs up. A FRAIL LOOKING MAN, wearing rugged clothes comes upto him. Man rolls down his window.
FRAIL MAN
(smiles)
Gadi saaf hai na (The car is clean right)

MAN
(searching in car, removes his wallet, hands frail man a note)
Thank you

Frail man analyses the note as the car drives away. The hamster runs in the direction in which the car drove. The frail man walks in the same direction. The hamster takes a turn, swiftly paces around... climbs onto a brown wallet fallen on the street and pushes it. The wallet falls into a drain. From a far off distance, the legs in the track pants and the small legs in scuba diving shoes come, passing across the frail man who is merrily singing.

FRAIL MAN
(singing)
Mein apke kaam me aata.... (I would have been of help to you...)

SMALL GIRL WEARING SCUBA DIVING SHOES
(to her mum wearing tracks)
Mamma, I don’t think you are finding that wallet here.

FRAIL MAN
(singing)
Par aj nahi... (But not today...)


So whose small act lead to what followed?
The hamster who made the small girl run after it? 
The small girl who was running making her mother run after her? 
Valkesh signing or not? 
The suit clad man forgetting his wallet or remembering to carry it? 
The lady dropping her wallet? 
The day? 
The wallet?

All did what they felt like, and like everyday the day shaped itself up based on their small doings.
We may not realise it, but much bigger changes in the world are all because of our doings itself.

(*So kudos to you if Chennai Express is a hit. And un-kudos to you if it isn't! Anyways, now, it is. Hah!) 

2 Aug 2013

Freedom of expression given, if it's in accord with our dear netas


It’s altogether a different feeling to stalk back certain moments when one realises the harsh, yet real face of certain ‘supposed’ freedoms which we as citizens of India are given. I stalked back certain moments from my school and college days. I remembered studying books which elegantly, like a long stream, listed the freedoms the citizens of India had. It felt liberating to read the words ‘democratic’; it felt exhilarating to know that I along with my batchmates had the ‘Freedom of Expression’ sans any fears attached; it felt wonderful to know that four whole articles in our honourable Constitution were dedicated for this very Freedom of Expression. But that’s all what it was and it is! Just a few words embedded in various sheets of paper. I think the editor who edited those sheets forgot to add a single line ‘if it’s in accord with our dear netas’ after editing the Freedom of Expression paragraph. Or maybe it was just one of our dear netas who ordered him not to tell the writer to add it.

"Maharashtra and Mumbai??? Why not? Mumbai has always fancied itself as an independent entity, anyway. This game has countless possibilities." 
- Writer Shobhaa De’s Tweet- the tweet that brought several realities to the forefront.

It’s just an expression (that too satirical) consisting of 20 words (that too on Twitter). But expressing 20 words is baap re baap, isn’t it dear netaji?

And we don’t understand or need humour, isn’t it netaji?

And how can we use the term ‘game’. It is a question of the land, and crores of emotions attached to it, isn’t it netaji?

And how can Mumbai obtain a separate stance, isn’t it netaji?

Well netaji, I along with millions of others already know that you can’t take satire or humour in good spirit. Fair enough, but what exactly happened to the Democracy status? Where exactly did our freedom of speech and expression (which our Constitution clearly states) evaporate? 

We can’t use satire. We can’t use words like ‘game’. We can’t express our views, and even while tweeting on Twitter or posting on Facebook we need to spend hours to analyse our tweets and posts, ensure that it is in accord with every neta party (and maybe even send it to your office to get your approval) and receive an approval/ rejection receipt maybe after a year (considering the reputation with regard to time management you guys have). Oh, and we should also know that if it isn’t in accord with your terms and conditions, we should totally expect personal remarks, protests in our compounds and threats.

But dear netaji, I on behalf of the youngsters of this nation must tell you that you have very well, in absolutely life-like picture quality, explained to us a side of the word ‘opportunist’. Against all odds, if one of us bravely decides to express his or her view, you-the dear netaji sees a great opportunity to tweak the interpretation to maximise the vote bank and suddenly express boundless and elevated love for your constituency (strictly through words).

So now I’m left with a hazy understanding of this concept ‘Freedom of Expression as practised in India’. Until an actual amendment is made in our rule book or a restriction is added under the prevailing heads, I’ll continue to go ahead with the one currently stated in our Constitution; even if our dear netas lack humour, find expressions offensive or pricking! And I’m sure there are several other youngsters who would do the same to keep democracy alive.


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