1 May 2014

A talk with the Mac... over chai

Gazing at my laptop, stalking the blue light emitted from the glazed black keys; I wondered if my laptop could ever verbally talk to me, maybe this is how the conversation would be...

MAC: Just because my dad (who strangely chose his name to be that of a fruit) boasts about my processing speed & fancy OS, you can’t be dumping files into me. Just cause you can’t memorise them, you can’t expect me to remember everything for you.

Me: There aren’t too many actually....

MAC <scoffing laughter>: Not too many at all! Just that folder of your silly pictures with that friend who dislikes my community, that fat aunt who can’t adopt anyone from my community (apparently we are complicated!), that weird tree picture (dude, trees don’t even care a damn about my community).

Me: C’mon, just because you store pictures of people who don’t like your kind, it doesn’t mean you act so offended...

MAC: It isn’t just this. Why would you let fat fingers touch me? I too have self-respect.Where have your morals..

Me: ...Whoa.. hold on... err... fat fingers? Who is that?

MAC: Sometimes you find me too complicated & ask people with fat fingers to help you out. They can’t just touch me. I know I’m highly sexy compared to Windows (that name itself is such a turn off). But it doesn’t mean everyone gets to touch me... even if they want to!!!

Me: Alright, relax dude... you seem to be quite ..

MAC: Relax? You’re the one who doesn’t let me turn my lights off. Either you constantly type on me. It’s like I’m getting hammered in the stomach. Then you ask me to download films. Why can’t you just watch them on TV?

ME: Well, you got a sexy screen :P

MAC: <blushes> Umm...

ME: By the way, I think I need to really tell you that your community is damn good at selling.

MAC: Oh yes, we just replace square looking buttons with circular buttons & sell it in the form of ‘new’, ‘kickass’ updates... Oops.. I hope no one heard me. We are a loud spoken... need to change that habit.

MAC: <continues> But we changed that strategy. Our father saw the love your kind was giving his kids. So he put in a really cool, genuine feature in my little brother, the phone’s iOS 7.1.1.

ME: <rushes to get the update>

MAC <whispers> It’s easy to fool this kind.

ME: <whispers> I still love your kind.

3 Feb 2014

Stalking Rahul Baba: WOW moments at the interview

There have been heaps of criticism and spoofing around this one interview. But guys, we just missed out on the WOW moments which surely taught us so much. (seriously!)
 I sat before the television set, waiting for the interview to air. One of the homosapiens contesting to preside over India would be talking to us...
For a moment I thought I had tuned into the humour-filled ‘The Week that Wasn’t’ show. I saw myself giggling a lot at an interview meant to discuss our nation’s future. But trust me, this interview had several WOW moments.

You were finally on air.

Did I go like ‘WOW. What a charismatic leader’?
I actually was like ‘WOW... that was funny’. (WOW) It takes efforts to be funny.

Did I understand the answers?
I haven’t ever understood mugged answers.  But rote learning was at its best. Okay, so you memorise words. I’m sure more than a lakh kids do that as well. But you also mugged up your emotions. (WOW) You had the same expression all throughout. That’s stability. (WOW, again) And when you decided to flash a smile, you quickly cloaked it with that serious face. That's called being quick. (WOW)
I get it. You need to ‘look’ serious (literally) so we think you’re too busy with work. I did that when I was too bored of paying attention back in college.

You surely were a better pick. Were you?
You were better than Arnab this time. (WOW) Arnab, Karan Thappar and a few more interviewers, can make you pretty uncomfortable by shooting questions. What you did was epic. He asked you some serious questions about India, and you answered back with equally serious questions. (WOW)
Exactly, so how does one go about empowering women? Ask us. 
How should the core committee be chosen? Ask us.

A little more of the WOW-dom I took from that interview were three letters- RTI (wow. #such achievement #much brag), few more questions posed by Rahul Baba and ‘hopefully-not-true’ visions.

I had a great laugh. I think some good amount of blood was generated in my body. The nation got a good amount of mugged answers, a topic to make a spoof video, a topic to write a blog on. But beyond that..... (wait, let me ask my mum how to end this post...)