A talk with the Mac... over chai

Gazing at my laptop, stalking the blue light emitted from the glazed black keys; I wondered if my laptop could ever verbally talk to me, maybe this is how the conversation would be...

MAC: Just because my dad (who strangely chose his name to be that of a fruit) boasts about my processing speed & fancy OS, you can’t be dumping files into me. Just cause you can’t memorise them, you can’t expect me to remember everything for you.

Me: There aren’t too many actually....

MAC <scoffing laughter>: Not too many at all! Just that folder of your silly pictures with that friend who dislikes my community, that fat aunt who can’t adopt anyone from my community (apparently we are complicated!), that weird tree picture (dude, trees don’t even care a damn about my community).

Me: C’mon, just because you store pictures of people who don’t like your kind, it doesn’t mean you act so offended...

MAC: It isn’t just this. Why would you let fat fingers touch me? I too have self-respect.Where have your morals..

Me: ...Whoa.. hold on... err... fat fingers? Who is that?

MAC: Sometimes you find me too complicated & ask people with fat fingers to help you out. They can’t just touch me. I know I’m highly sexy compared to Windows (that name itself is such a turn off). But it doesn’t mean everyone gets to touch me... even if they want to!!!

Me: Alright, relax dude... you seem to be quite ..

MAC: Relax? You’re the one who doesn’t let me turn my lights off. Either you constantly type on me. It’s like I’m getting hammered in the stomach. Then you ask me to download films. Why can’t you just watch them on TV?

ME: Well, you got a sexy screen :P

MAC: <blushes> Umm...

ME: By the way, I think I need to really tell you that your community is damn good at selling.

MAC: Oh yes, we just replace square looking buttons with circular buttons & sell it in the form of ‘new’, ‘kickass’ updates... Oops.. I hope no one heard me. We are a loud spoken... need to change that habit.

MAC: <continues> But we changed that strategy. Our father saw the love your kind was giving his kids. So he put in a really cool, genuine feature in my little brother, the phone’s iOS 7.1.1.

ME: <rushes to get the update>

MAC <whispers> It’s easy to fool this kind.

ME: <whispers> I still love your kind.